Invasion of the strategy snatchers

🎃 Halloween Special 👻 2025

It’s become a tradition of this blog to post a Halloween Special every year. Last year, it was about an Account-Based Marketing tool implementation that went horribly wrong for a new CMO!

But in 2025, I’ve created one for the job market — inspired by my post that got over 70,000 views, 100 comments, and hundreds of shares on Reddit in just two days! I hope you enjoy it!

🎬 Invasion of the Strategy Snatchers (2025)

A Halloween horror story for every jobseeker who’s ever been asked to do “a little unpaid assignment.”

“You thought it was a job interview.
It was an extraction.”

A Recruitment Horror for the Late-Stage Capitalist Age

The year is 2025.
The global economy is flatlining.
Budgets are frozen.
Every recruiter swears they’re “hiring soon.”

And then — the job posts begin to appear.
Glowing, too-good-to-be-true listings fill every board:
“Marketing Manager – Strategic Thinker – Immediate Start.”
Thousands apply.
No one ever gets hired.
Because there is no job.
There is only... The Strategy Snatchers.

---

Scene 1 — Emma, The Demand Gen Veteran

Ten years of experience. MBA. HubSpot certified.
She delivers a flawless full-funnel campaign plan to a startup called LeadSync.
The execs smile.
“Not enough demand generation experience,” they say.
Emma frowns.
“But… you asked for four years. I have ten.”

The lights flicker. The projector hums. Her slides begin to melt into the wall — absorbed, pixel by pixel — until her campaign glows behind the executives like a living thing.
Hours later, LeadSync launches her exact plan.
Emma is never heard from again.

Scene 2 — Jamal, The Analyst

He spends three days on a “creative brief” for an analytics platform.
Forecasts, personas, everything.
The reply: “We felt your brief lacked creativity.”
A week later, Jamal sees their new campaign using his exact tagline.
He stares at the screen as his reflection fades — replaced by a green-glowing corporate avatar.
Another one claimed.

Scene 3 — Priya, The Product Marketer

A 16-hour take-home assignment.
A perfect mock launch plan.
She’s ghosted.
Later, her words appear word-for-word on the company website.
When she reopens her deck, her name has been replaced with:
“Property of: Talent Acquisition.”

Scene 4 — Derek, The Senior Strategist

VP-level interview.
Six-month campaign plan requested.
Final round feedback: “We filled the role internally.”
Through the glass, Derek sees an “internal hire” presenting his slides to the board.
The new employee mouths, “Thank you.”

Scene 5 — The Collective

In a dimly lit open-plan office, recruiters gather around glowing monitors.
Each CV feeds into an AI brain.
Each idea fuels another quarter’s growth.
They chant softly:
“Free work is free growth.”
“There is no job. Only deliverables.”

Hundreds of candidate faces appear inside the monitors — screaming silently as their strategies are absorbed.

Final Scene — The Awakening

Dawn.
A new posting appears:
“Senior Marketing Manager – Immediate Start – Must Submit Strategic Plan.”
A fresh batch of hopefuls click Apply.
The screen zooms in until the pixels blur.
From inside the noise, a faint voice whispers:
“Help me... I just need feedback on my brief…”
Then — silence.

---

🎞️ A Desperate Job Seeker Production

Starring: Emma the Overqualified, Jamal the Ghosted, Priya the Creative, Derek the “Internal Candidate”
Written & Directed by: Late Capitalism
Original Concept by: u/Ill_Introduction3048 on Reddit
Soundtrack: “The Screaming of the Unpaid.”

💀 Coming This Halloween:
Invasion of the Strategy Snatchers

Because in late capitalism, every nightmare is unpaid work.